John's Status: Sleeping peacefully

The yield-bearing asset for aggressively normal people

$NPC — The Ultimate Normie Token

Paired with $ETH. Powered by SPY & AAPL yield. Bedtime remains strictly at 9:30 PM.

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Live Yield Active

Yield Engine 01 · S&P 500 ETF

50% SPY Exposure

50%

Earning yield automatically from S&P 500 index liquidity.

🍎
Live Yield Active

Yield Engine 02 · Apple Inc.

50% AAPL Exposure

50%

Earning yield automatically from Apple Inc. tokenized shares.

Buy on DEX ($NPC / $ETH) →
Pool pair $NPC / $ETHYield mix SPY + AAPLBedtime Non-negotiable
☕ Oat milk secured◆ $ETH doing the work▦ Excel sheet open◷ Bedtime 21:30↗ SPY + AAPL energy☕ Oat milk secured◆ $ETH doing the work▦ Excel sheet open◷ Bedtime 21:30↗ SPY + AAPL energy

NPC Corp. / Human Resources

Employee Dashboard: John

John, 32. Oat milk enjoyer. Monthly investor. Leaves parties before dessert and positions before they become interesting.

NPC_CORP / HRIS / EMPLOYEE_0930
John's NPC corporate avatarLow volatility

John Normieson

Senior Average Person · NPC Corp.

“Disciplined professional with 10+ years of opening spreadsheets and thinking about lunch.”

Location
Suburbia, USA
Connections
500+ coworkers
Core skill
VLOOKUP
Aura
Muted beige

Daily operating schedule

A perfectly repeatable timeline

06:00

Wake up & drink oat milk latte.

Routine entry #01

CONSISTENT
09:00

Open Excel. Stare into the grid.

Routine entry #02

PRODUCTIVE
28TH

Automatically buy SPY and Apple stock.

Routine entry #03

DIVERSIFIED
21:30

Sleep while degens get liquidated.

Routine entry #04

OFFLINE
John sleeping while SPY, AAPL and ETH continue working
Live office feed · 21:30

Internal memo #0930

Boomer stock energy meets Ethereum liquidity.

The $NPC / $ETH pool combines John's favorite things: slow, sensible exposure to SPY and Apple, plus a liquid crypto rail that keeps working after he clocks out. Degens watch charts at 3:00 AM. John watches his contributions compound from under a weighted blanket.

Finance / Form NPC-10K

The Corporate Balance Sheet

Unaudited. Unbothered. Updated right after John's lunch break.

NPC_Balance_Sheet_FINAL_v7.xlsx
#A · MetricB · ValueC · Notes
1Ticker$NPC✓ Approved
2LP Pair$NPC / $ETH✓ Approved
3Index Assets50% $SPY + 50% $AAPL✓ Approved
4Yield SourceYieldShares✓ Approved
5Degen Stress Level0%✓ Approved
6Tax4% Buy / 4% Sell✓ Approved
Sheet 1 of 1 · Autosave on · Feelings off
HR Wellness Tool◷

The 9:30 PM Clock Out Button

Close the laptop. Hydrate. Let the Ethereum network take the night shift.

Employee Onboarding / 3 Easy Steps

How to join the workforce

No leverage. No 48-tab trading setup. Just a wallet, some ETH, and a healthy respect for circadian rhythm.

STEP 01💼

Clock in to Web3

Get a wallet. Write the seed phrase somewhere safer than an Excel comment.

01
STEP 02◆

Grab some $ETH

Fund your wallet with Ethereum. John calls this “digital onboarding.”

02
STEP 03⏰

Swap for $NPC

Swap $ETH for $NPC, then set your alarm for 6:00 AM. Sharp.

03

Official contract address

0xD5f1Dd001bd473bE32c6CFA6260a9C438d397011

$NPC / $ETH
SPY + AAPLLive